Post by Pinkline Jones on Aug 31, 2003 22:15:38 GMT 10
Tonight’s show certainly commenced in a very bizarre fashion with all three judges warning us that there would be no place for “mediocrity” - that a world class performer was being sought after.
Please excuse me while I laugh into my forty seventh beer - that’s great advice but why didn’t they come forth with this requirement from the start? In previous rounds many of the performers have been told they’re so wonderful that they’d have US, the viewers, believe that these dudes would be entering the Hall of Fame probably before the year is out.
Dicko Dicko-son let us know that he was in a bad mood – TV doesn’t get much more riveting that this! My advice is that Prozac can work wonders but then again its not the right thing for everyone. There are better options - hey why not simply tune into Australian Idol!
Tonight we saw the lowest standard of singers in the last four weeks – most of them rated around the 5.5 out of 10 mark which would hardly suggest that we have the next Mark Holden-type legend in our midst.
MARY – told us that she liked powerful songs and she gave us one and did it quite well. A strong AMERICAN (don't they all do it!) voice and it would be easy to see her fronting a band. However that doesn’t mean she can cut it as an idol. Marcia suggested that Mary needs to think about "light and shade" which might have been a little harsh – the song probably didn’t have the room for this commodity – some songs don’t - Acca Dacca’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” – a case in point - now there’s no light and shade there.
MICHELLE – Poor young Michelle – the girl looked pale when she came on stage and did not do herself any favours by singing the Titanic theme which had not been recommended as a good idea by the judges earlier on. She shouldn’t worry too much because this show is not the be and end all of making it in show business – there are other avenues. Do what Anthony Sumbati did and lock yourself in your room, gorge on chiko rolls, and get yourself some publicity. The performance was not good. And boy oh boy didn’t the judges let loose on the poor soul culminating in sweet as pie Marcia telling Mark to “shut up”. Looks like the powers that be at Channel Springer must have ordered the judges to spice it up. Hysterical entertainment. You'll be all right Michelle. 4/10.
COSTA – If they thought Michelle was bad then I reckon this scruffy-haired warbler was only a long neck in front of her (to borrow a horse racing term). The low-register warbling was on overload and the high notes to finish off the song gave me a real giggle. A karaoke of a performance. Costa needs a good haircut and beard redesign before…..heading back to the local rokee. Dicko reckons it was a tidy performance, Holds said that Costa was appealing and Marcia’s advice was “Focus”. A 4.5/10 effort.
BRIELLE – Another boring, forgettable Idol performance – dubious vocal in one part which no judge commented on (although Holds picked on Brandon). Brielle has a problem with diction. Needs to know that NEWS is not pronounced NOOES. After I came out of the coma I heard that she was singing something along the lines of “even God must get the blues”. Well that may well be the case but one thing’s for sure, God would not be suffering from insomnia anymore if he had listened to THIS. Better than the first two slightly. Dicko suggested she confine her performances to the country while Marcia said she needed to go for it. Holds told her he wouldn’t pay ten bucks to see her. Cough cough – well I saw Marcia at South Sydney Juniors for ten bucks and she’s a great singer – If I can get to see HER for ten bucks then I don’t think I’d be paying one buck to see a Mark Holden retrospective.
Considering he only had two hits the show would only go for about five minutes. LOL!
LEVI – The first shock was Levi walking out on stage minus his swimming cap but after hearing him sing I don’t think it would have saved him. Another pretty ordinary performance. Levi wants to look cool but he really hit the cringe overload button with his too frequent flicking of the tongue with accompanying head turn. Marcia suggested that we’d like to see more of what Levi’s doing when nobody’s looking, at home. Oh dear – I beg to differ. What Levi does in the privacy of his own home should stay there please. A 5.5/10 routine.
CLE – another of the judges’ favourites but to me it was a screechy performance lacking oomph. The performance suffered from a lack of momentum. Marcia reckons she did a great job (there goes the quest for “raising the bar” and soaring above “mediocrity”). Holds found Cle “perplexing” – there was nothing perplexing at all – Cle’s performance was okay without being but nothing more. Cle's backstage waving /talking to friends antics was quite irritating. 5/10
BRANDON – Oh no another blonde male singer! This was not a bad performance at all and the guy looked very much in control. Holds picked on him for some pitch problem (although no one commented on an earlier one). Marcia told him to stop having hysterics when he sings the word “pain” – which surprises me cause what’s that old saying “pleasure in pain”. Dicko described it as a “girly” performance and that Robbie Williams had gone to hell and back. Geez I had absolutely no idea that Robbie Williams had ever been to Port Macquarie! I’d say the equal best performance of a mediocre bunch. But I think the judges must have got the directive to not let another blonde dude through. 6.5/10.
LAUREN – Another of the judge’s pin up girls. “Imagine” definitely not one of the better songs to sing to demonstrate one’s vocal dynamics – the song with one of the most hypocritical messages in music history – check out the Lennon and Ono bank balance. Lauren gave a hint that she had something but whatever that something is I can’t see it having the potential to pack out the Hordern Pavilion or the Myer Music Bowl on a non-Bingo night. A fairly ordinary, unexciting effort. The judges seemed to enjoy it all though and surprisingly none of them criticised her diction. She confused me with “BURT I’m not the only one” – I had never heard this guy’s name mentioned in any recordings of this song I’d ever come across. "DREAMA" is better pronounced DREAMER. Maybe okay to take liberties diction-wise with rap songs perhaps but this is not the song to do it on. 6/10.
So my top three would have been Mary (who good luck to her for being self-confident but not her place in the circumstance to question the judges’ call). She did have a point though. Brandon was not too bad, Lauren the same and then the rest don’t give up the day jobs! Can't see the winner coming from this show.
I'M PINKLINE JONES
Please excuse me while I laugh into my forty seventh beer - that’s great advice but why didn’t they come forth with this requirement from the start? In previous rounds many of the performers have been told they’re so wonderful that they’d have US, the viewers, believe that these dudes would be entering the Hall of Fame probably before the year is out.
Dicko Dicko-son let us know that he was in a bad mood – TV doesn’t get much more riveting that this! My advice is that Prozac can work wonders but then again its not the right thing for everyone. There are better options - hey why not simply tune into Australian Idol!
Tonight we saw the lowest standard of singers in the last four weeks – most of them rated around the 5.5 out of 10 mark which would hardly suggest that we have the next Mark Holden-type legend in our midst.
MARY – told us that she liked powerful songs and she gave us one and did it quite well. A strong AMERICAN (don't they all do it!) voice and it would be easy to see her fronting a band. However that doesn’t mean she can cut it as an idol. Marcia suggested that Mary needs to think about "light and shade" which might have been a little harsh – the song probably didn’t have the room for this commodity – some songs don’t - Acca Dacca’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” – a case in point - now there’s no light and shade there.
MICHELLE – Poor young Michelle – the girl looked pale when she came on stage and did not do herself any favours by singing the Titanic theme which had not been recommended as a good idea by the judges earlier on. She shouldn’t worry too much because this show is not the be and end all of making it in show business – there are other avenues. Do what Anthony Sumbati did and lock yourself in your room, gorge on chiko rolls, and get yourself some publicity. The performance was not good. And boy oh boy didn’t the judges let loose on the poor soul culminating in sweet as pie Marcia telling Mark to “shut up”. Looks like the powers that be at Channel Springer must have ordered the judges to spice it up. Hysterical entertainment. You'll be all right Michelle. 4/10.
COSTA – If they thought Michelle was bad then I reckon this scruffy-haired warbler was only a long neck in front of her (to borrow a horse racing term). The low-register warbling was on overload and the high notes to finish off the song gave me a real giggle. A karaoke of a performance. Costa needs a good haircut and beard redesign before…..heading back to the local rokee. Dicko reckons it was a tidy performance, Holds said that Costa was appealing and Marcia’s advice was “Focus”. A 4.5/10 effort.
BRIELLE – Another boring, forgettable Idol performance – dubious vocal in one part which no judge commented on (although Holds picked on Brandon). Brielle has a problem with diction. Needs to know that NEWS is not pronounced NOOES. After I came out of the coma I heard that she was singing something along the lines of “even God must get the blues”. Well that may well be the case but one thing’s for sure, God would not be suffering from insomnia anymore if he had listened to THIS. Better than the first two slightly. Dicko suggested she confine her performances to the country while Marcia said she needed to go for it. Holds told her he wouldn’t pay ten bucks to see her. Cough cough – well I saw Marcia at South Sydney Juniors for ten bucks and she’s a great singer – If I can get to see HER for ten bucks then I don’t think I’d be paying one buck to see a Mark Holden retrospective.
Considering he only had two hits the show would only go for about five minutes. LOL!
LEVI – The first shock was Levi walking out on stage minus his swimming cap but after hearing him sing I don’t think it would have saved him. Another pretty ordinary performance. Levi wants to look cool but he really hit the cringe overload button with his too frequent flicking of the tongue with accompanying head turn. Marcia suggested that we’d like to see more of what Levi’s doing when nobody’s looking, at home. Oh dear – I beg to differ. What Levi does in the privacy of his own home should stay there please. A 5.5/10 routine.
CLE – another of the judges’ favourites but to me it was a screechy performance lacking oomph. The performance suffered from a lack of momentum. Marcia reckons she did a great job (there goes the quest for “raising the bar” and soaring above “mediocrity”). Holds found Cle “perplexing” – there was nothing perplexing at all – Cle’s performance was okay without being but nothing more. Cle's backstage waving /talking to friends antics was quite irritating. 5/10
BRANDON – Oh no another blonde male singer! This was not a bad performance at all and the guy looked very much in control. Holds picked on him for some pitch problem (although no one commented on an earlier one). Marcia told him to stop having hysterics when he sings the word “pain” – which surprises me cause what’s that old saying “pleasure in pain”. Dicko described it as a “girly” performance and that Robbie Williams had gone to hell and back. Geez I had absolutely no idea that Robbie Williams had ever been to Port Macquarie! I’d say the equal best performance of a mediocre bunch. But I think the judges must have got the directive to not let another blonde dude through. 6.5/10.
LAUREN – Another of the judge’s pin up girls. “Imagine” definitely not one of the better songs to sing to demonstrate one’s vocal dynamics – the song with one of the most hypocritical messages in music history – check out the Lennon and Ono bank balance. Lauren gave a hint that she had something but whatever that something is I can’t see it having the potential to pack out the Hordern Pavilion or the Myer Music Bowl on a non-Bingo night. A fairly ordinary, unexciting effort. The judges seemed to enjoy it all though and surprisingly none of them criticised her diction. She confused me with “BURT I’m not the only one” – I had never heard this guy’s name mentioned in any recordings of this song I’d ever come across. "DREAMA" is better pronounced DREAMER. Maybe okay to take liberties diction-wise with rap songs perhaps but this is not the song to do it on. 6/10.
So my top three would have been Mary (who good luck to her for being self-confident but not her place in the circumstance to question the judges’ call). She did have a point though. Brandon was not too bad, Lauren the same and then the rest don’t give up the day jobs! Can't see the winner coming from this show.
I'M PINKLINE JONES
