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Post by slackmac on Jun 23, 2005 15:27:07 GMT 10
Let 'er rip, folks.
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Post by darthbrooks on Jun 23, 2005 15:34:44 GMT 10
Too easy.
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Post by camel56 on Jun 23, 2005 19:50:01 GMT 10
Mark Holden was born in Adelaide in 1954. According to some sources, he may have at one point had some kind of credible pop star career. Rumour has it that Mark's signature suave move was to hand out carnations to ladies in the audience whilst warbling on stage. It is for this reason many bikers from the older generation refer to him as That carnation c_nt. In any case, we're sure it worked a treat on the ladies and resulted in a plethora of womens underwear being aimed at him on stage. Some of Mark's many career highlights include two hit albums and winning the TV Week King Of Pop award for best newcomer in 1976. And as everyone knows, TV Week readers have exceptional taste. Mark was reponsible for inflicting Vanessa Amorosi on the Australian public after hearing her perform at a restaurant, and a verdict from the War Crimes Tribunal is expected any day now. Mark became famous during Australian Idol for uttering complete shite instead of giving any useful feedback whatsoever. Nonsensical statements like "Bada bing, bada boom" and "touchdown" were thrown around, whilst his "Go the fro!" statement unfortunately became part of the Aussie vernacular as Idol's popularity hit fever pitch. Mark is generally considered a bit of a knob, according to recent polls never conducted, but he ruins it by being very good humoured about it which makes it hard to resent the man. On his website, he has launched a campaign to receive a trophy for winning Ralph Magazine's Wanker Of The Year award, and was so pleased to be garnering some attention (good or bad) that both Ralph and Merrick & Rosso became rapidly disinterested in humouring him. God bless him for trying. Finally, it should be noted that many theorists out there think Mark might not be all that bad a bloke, and his displays of f*ckwitism on last year's Idol program were mostly due to nerves over having to speak on camera. Who knows, perhaps he felt insecure without having a carnation to hold onto? In any case, viewers can only hope his feuds with Dicko carry on to this year's Idol production and provide us with some entertaining moments.
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Post by harajuku on Jun 23, 2005 20:28:43 GMT 10
That's some high quality work there Camel.
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Post by frankbanner on Jun 24, 2005 13:35:26 GMT 10
Like the nob comment, Camel.
Though "absolute tosser" could have got a run, though
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Post by darthbrooks on Jun 24, 2005 16:11:04 GMT 10
What can you say about Mark Holden that nobody has ever thought about him already whilst making an utter arseclown of himself repeatedly on national television?
Aside from being a complete jerk, the guy has absolutely zero taste. Actually, that's not strictly true. He has a taste for specific dairy products.
If this was not obvious with his own pitiful music career or dress sense that can only be bottomed by John Reid's feminine wardrobe, it should be perfectly apparent in the fact that he is the world's worst music producer.
As a producer, Holden works in a variety of genres - cheddar, mozarella and camembert - to name but a few. Perhaps the highlight of his production career has been the exponentially attrocious "Rise Up", performed by the Idols from series number 1, surely a candidate for the lamest and most embarassing piece of music since early man first banged two rocks together to invent percussion.
Mark Holden is a cancer on the entertainment industry. He is as appealing as a plant-a-wart.
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Post by slackmac on Jun 26, 2005 12:10:18 GMT 10
Yes - in the next round of gongs, Holden is definitely in line for an OC.
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