Idol Tuesday Karaoke Spectacular!!

[Pinkline Jones]

Ladies and Gentleman - welcome to the Tuesday Afternoon Idol Spectacular - and we've got some great entertainment coming your way.

And to kick off the show today we have every tone-deaf teenage girl in the country's favourite spunk - the bed hopping - incoherent - Dicko criticising, eyeliner-wearing, Melbourne desperado - the incredible FART-tastic FARTING MILLSY!!! And what will you be singing today Millsy?

Millsy: Um "Yar narv a warkle lar"

Great! So here's Rob with You'll Never Walk Alone:

“Whar ewe warkthrar starbucks hey yo ate a pie
E don befrair arve a duck
At theed ar a stars a garden scar
Airnd the swedish sound of a lamb”<br>
Well thanks Rob that was great…..Dicko will be in contact.

Folks let’s throw it up for Millsy!!

Insert: APPLAUSE

Next up we have the wonderful Pink Lamshade-wearing, No Sunline knees - with a wailing mouth like the Luna Park Entrance – the Screeching, Hip Wiggling, Emotionally Vulnerable with the I’m Gonna Outscream Paulini attitude – give it up for No Sunline Knees COSIMA DE VITO. And she’s chosen a lovely song from the Sound of Music.

“The hills are alive with the SCREAMS of music
With songs I have SCREECHED for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the SCREAMS of music
My heart wants to SCREAM every song it hears”<br>
Give it up for Cosiman De Vito.

Insert: APPLAUSE

Wow – the standard is just out of this world – how can you follow a fairly decent act like that – well you follow it by taking the standard down a few notches –

Ladies and Gentleman and Teenage Morons – please welcome to centre stage – the owner of the most annoying Beard in the Competition, the Sleeveless, Hitchhiking, Karaoke Sheep Shearer from the epicentre of bad karaoke – Condoblin’s hero - the RaspMeister SHANNON!

And Shannon’s chosen Bon Jovi’s big hit : “Singing Without a Prayer”<br>
“Whart ABOUT ME – it isn’t FAIR – so what I’d be better placed at KARAOKE but I don’t care”<br>
Err um yeah that’s good Shannon….next please…<br>
Sorry INSERT AUDIENCE APPLAUSE

Well this next man has been described by Marcia Hines as having a voice that’s “heaven sent” - but the good news is that Marcia is off that medication now and feeling a lot better. Yes – the man who has transmogrified into Yoko Ono overnight – the guy in the Benny Hill Wig, with the RSPCA sanction pending, the Cat Strangling Wunderkind, with the “Bugger! Me Lawnmower just won’t start” vocal weapons of mass torture……please give it up for GUY CAT STRANGLER . Guy’s about to let rip with his tribute to the Monarchy.

“Ooooh ooh oooh oh yeah eeee ah wo ooo ooooh ooooooooo oh yeah glory oh eee ooo eee
God save ooh yeah wo o our grayeeee ooh eee cious Queen
Long long long oh woo yee yeah live our our our ooh yeah noble queen
Guy save the Queen – ee eee ee- eeen oh yeah oooo wooo ooh
Send send send her to send her to just send her there – oh yeah – ooh
………….STRANGLE STRANGLE …..OH yeah “<br>
Fantastic! Guy – What talent this man has! Like Yoko Ono sings Richard Clayderman filtered through Stevie Wonder’s jock strap. Please give it up for GUY!

INSERT APPLAUSE

Now our next singer was supposed to be the Sensational Paulini Jones – but Paulini has opted out saying “<br>
"I just don’t feel I can compete with that kind of talent – I definitely can’t outscreech Cosima, I can’t wreck Livin on a Prayer like Shannon, I can’t enunciate or fart like Millsy and Guy’s already snared the contract with Victa lawnmowers so just do what you think is right and put me at the bottom again".

PINKLINE

[Ripley]

Hey, I'm awaiting the next instalment after the R&B episode when it just has to be "hard rock" (to be fair). Unfortunately, Sharnsey will be gone by then but I can't wait to hear Cosima scream a Metallica number and Guy slowly murder a Guns and Roses number!

[Pinkline Jones]

For sure lol

[Lulu]

Wonder what theme they'll think up next?

Any thoughts?

[Cat strangler]

Opera? Think what they could all do to that...

[Geez Louise]

Pinkline, ur a friggin idiot. For heavens sake, I can imagine you would do a far better, in fact, almost perfect performance. Would pay to see it. May I suggest you get some experience and success like these people have had before u continue cyber-bashing them.
Thankyou, that is all I have to say about that.

[Ala]

I love Guy, but that take-off is so funny

And because of your love for Paulini we are robbed of 20% of your delicious satire.

Damn you, Paulini!!

[Ala]

And I'd love to see them all rapping or beatboxing. I'm going to miss having little performers on my tv when the show ends...

[IdolCritic]

Yeah Pinkline it's starting to grate a bit... didn't find that funny at all. And Cosima DOESN'T scream! I've never known anyone who primarily uses their middle range to be called a screamer!

[sumfinelse]

geez, bitta controversey to your topic pinkline, dun worry tho i had a sense of humour and found it funny. especially Um "Yar narv a warkle lar" thats hilarious.. nice work, peepz needs to gets a sense of humour going..

[guyfan]

GUY WAS IN A CLASS OF HIS OWN SERIOUSLY

[M]

lol... don't take the Pinky seriously

[Pinkline Jones]

GEEZ LOUISE

Thanks for your pathetic opinion. If you find me a FRIGGIN IDIOT then that's fine - as long as I can find YOU a sockdolodgered syphilis gargling sphincterless bowel-filling manure for brains dumb as dog **** brain dead walking bag of cellulite.

[Pinkline Jones]

IDOL CRITIC

If I "grate a bit" I've got nothing on Guy Strangler and Cosima De Screamer. And if you have any further complaints may I suggest you contact someone who cares. Alan Jones Open line d*head!