Post by Pinkline Jones on Feb 7, 2005 11:13:03 GMT 10
First thing to note about this new "Talent" Show was the program producer's utter failure to create a suitably potent and interesting enough mix regarding judging panel composition. Now here's a good trivia question for people, notwithstanding Ceberano's own self confidence as to her place in mustic history - Can anyone actually name more than two songs she has recorded? Yeah....um that one and err wasn't she I think yeah but I'm not a hundred per cent sure.
And well she tried to be witty but it just ain't workin' 4 you u know whart arm saying girfriend?
Keeping 70s "hearthrob" Mark Holden out of Ceberano's Santa Gertrudis style tae kwando range was the famous John Reid (and please excuse me for never having heard of him), the man who got Elton John going amongst others. And what a curious little fellow he is, with the personality of a serapaxed Coopers and Lybrand accountant, this minor flaw was balanced by an outrageous breaking all the rules pink shirt.
Each judge rattled off a brief spiel as to what the show meant to them, anything to pad out a show that seems to have all the substance of State Rail Dining Car mashed potatoes.
Melbourne was first up with the auditions and the usual suspects - groups of a capella mouseketeers. This style of sterilised dog's vomit has to be off the scale truly brown stuff abysmal to not sound reasonable. Ho freakin' hum.
The biggest controversy of the group singing was when a bloke disturbingly resembling James Reyne and a BEFORE photo for a hairstyle makeover, "Sam", prostituted himself by auditioning with both "Suede" and "Pablo" - undoubted music Jugger-NOUGHTs of the future. Sam eventually settled on one group but unfortunately one of the matchsticks that was keeping my eyes open, broke, so I missed the outcome.
The best two singers were a Dad and Son duo who had initially entered as individual acts, Dad in the 50-99 years old category and Son in the 20-49 years old. A spirited (and you could almost see the fumes emanating from their armpits) rendition of an old Elvis song causing Bovine Blabber Bling Kate Ceberano to shout out like the Chief Overall at a Feminist protest rally "And THAT!!! blah blah is the X FACTOR!!" Eeeee god!
Award for worst singing tryhard of the night went to the bloke who sang as if he was trying to give birth to Guy Sebastian via his kebab chute - however, he probably did more than enough to suitably impress talent scouts from the insidious Hillsong whackos.
Auditions continue tonight. We must apportion some of the blame onto the seductive powers of Vanilla Coke drinking Kamahl for roping us into this musical bedpan slop. Thanks mate. Yeah and I've got all your albums too.
PINKLINE JONES A.O.
Australia's Leading Social Commentator
And well she tried to be witty but it just ain't workin' 4 you u know whart arm saying girfriend?
Keeping 70s "hearthrob" Mark Holden out of Ceberano's Santa Gertrudis style tae kwando range was the famous John Reid (and please excuse me for never having heard of him), the man who got Elton John going amongst others. And what a curious little fellow he is, with the personality of a serapaxed Coopers and Lybrand accountant, this minor flaw was balanced by an outrageous breaking all the rules pink shirt.
Each judge rattled off a brief spiel as to what the show meant to them, anything to pad out a show that seems to have all the substance of State Rail Dining Car mashed potatoes.
Melbourne was first up with the auditions and the usual suspects - groups of a capella mouseketeers. This style of sterilised dog's vomit has to be off the scale truly brown stuff abysmal to not sound reasonable. Ho freakin' hum.
The biggest controversy of the group singing was when a bloke disturbingly resembling James Reyne and a BEFORE photo for a hairstyle makeover, "Sam", prostituted himself by auditioning with both "Suede" and "Pablo" - undoubted music Jugger-NOUGHTs of the future. Sam eventually settled on one group but unfortunately one of the matchsticks that was keeping my eyes open, broke, so I missed the outcome.
The best two singers were a Dad and Son duo who had initially entered as individual acts, Dad in the 50-99 years old category and Son in the 20-49 years old. A spirited (and you could almost see the fumes emanating from their armpits) rendition of an old Elvis song causing Bovine Blabber Bling Kate Ceberano to shout out like the Chief Overall at a Feminist protest rally "And THAT!!! blah blah is the X FACTOR!!" Eeeee god!
Award for worst singing tryhard of the night went to the bloke who sang as if he was trying to give birth to Guy Sebastian via his kebab chute - however, he probably did more than enough to suitably impress talent scouts from the insidious Hillsong whackos.
Auditions continue tonight. We must apportion some of the blame onto the seductive powers of Vanilla Coke drinking Kamahl for roping us into this musical bedpan slop. Thanks mate. Yeah and I've got all your albums too.
PINKLINE JONES A.O.
Australia's Leading Social Commentator
*geez, I am getting tired of ducking* 
