Post by frogo on Apr 27, 2004 13:56:23 GMT 10
ANNOUNCER -
-- ‘We have seen our next contestant grow from a timid little weed to a giant tall poppy. That’s what this competition is about!
Please put your hands together for the ROFL (right old filthy lady) - the fabulous Frogo!!!!!’<br>
Audience screams uncontrollably. ‘GO THE FROGO!! GO THE FROGO!’<br>It soon becomes obvious that many people have brought zimmer frames with them, showing their support for frogo.( pardon the pun). ;D ;D ;D
Some have raised their zimmers in the air!
(IMPORTANT BACKGROUND INFORMATION - at this point we must tell you that after her last performance the lovely and supportive fellow contestants (no rivalries here – "we all adore each other"!) became concerned about Frogo’s ability to stand - even with the zimmer.
They constructed a harness she could wear during her 2nd performance. It is like a pair of reins with a long bungee lead that the audience can’t see. PBS has been declared CHIEF HARNESS HOLDER and has been charged with the task of keeping her upright should anything go wrong).
Meanwhile ----
Frogo appears in the distant centre stage. Her zimmer is covered from top to bottom with moving fairy lights (eat your heart out PSB).
Oh no! wait – what’s this? I don’t believe it – No, it can’t be ----She is wearing a pink tutu, her favourite blue cardy (to hide the harness) and - OMG --hot pink roller blades. (Let’s not mention the leg warmers over her knees – p leeeze)! - AND HER HAIR hair ? - Oh No! ---I still don’t believe it – ho! Ho! – it looks as if she forgot to take her curlers out!
The music starts – da da da -----
Frogo glides towards the michropohone wobbling on her weak ankles. She and the Zimmer go straight past it but miraculously PSB has noticed what’s happening and pulls her to an abrupt halt.
The music slows and stops!!!
She almost falls then sways back and forth for a short time like a ten-pin pin, before settling.
The music starts again but as the wonderful John Foreman raises his baton Frogo ducks suddenly thinking she is going to be hit.
The action is too sharp for her elderly body and she is unable to get herself upright again. (PSB had just spotted someone wearing something he likes and dropped the reins. oh he is sooo useless sometimes)! Frogo is left to give her performance bent double. (de ja vu she thinks).
She begins to sing, despite the discomfort, (should earn a few brownie points for that)!
The pure sweet voice we have all grown to love fills the hall.
(Please note – the words to this song have not been changed to protect how amusing they already are).
FROGO - (singing) “If I said you had a beautiful body
would you hold it against me?
If I swore you were an angel,
Would you treat me like the devil tonight”
Audience screams – zimmers rattle
“If I were dying of thirst
Would your flowing love come quench me
If I said you had a beautiful body
Would you hold it against me”
More screaming and rattling zimmers
ORCHESTRA da da ddd dee da
Frogo remains in her bent over position – revealing a small bald patch on the top of her head. This endears her to the viewers even more than before.
Meanwhile ..
PBS suddenly realises what has happened and yanks her into an upritght position!
FROGO CAN’T HELP HERSELF – SHE BREAKS WIND! (wouldn’t anyone???)
Dicko mutters - OMG – what am I doing here??
Frogo continues as if nothing has happened –
“Now we can talk all night about the weather
Tell you 'bout my friends out on the coast
I could ask alot of crazy questions
Or I could ask what I really want to know”
“ Now rain can fall so soft against the window
The sun can shine so bright up in the sky
But daddy always told me, "Don't make small talk"
He said, "Come on out and said what's on your mind”<br>
CHORUS ……..
At this point THE ZIMMER AND FROGO slowly start to glide away from the microphone out of control. (PSB has fallen asleep he is soooo bored. The vocal gets fainter and fainter as they glide away from the microphone. Oh no!!! - this could be disastrous - ooops - the zimmer has sped up leaving frogo standing on her own!! – she doesn’t fall!!!!!!! She takes a tentative step ------- and then another ---- The zimmer by this time has fallen over the edge of the stage where avid fans pounce on it.
THE PLACE IS IN A FRENZY ----- FROGO IS WALKING UNAIDED AND HAS GIVEN THE PERFORMANCE OF HER LIFE!!
Finally the judges are able to speak.
MARK ‘ TOUCHDOWN’!!!
MARCIA - ‘ I’ve never seen you afraid before, Frogo, but you recovered well. Well done!’<br>
DICKO - ‘ Frogo, do you think I pick on you?
FROGO - ‘ No not at all …..’<br>
DICKO - ‘Well, I’m going to tonight! You have made a dodgy song choice and you look like Crap’!!!!!!
AUDIENCE BOO’S --- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO –
FROGO – ‘Oh – did you want me to do something like Wham???’<br>
AUDIENCE DROWNS THEM OUT WITH BOOOOOING and the voting numbers come up on the screen. Frogo looks tense.
What will happen? Will she return? Now that she seems to be able to walk unaided, what will she do next!!
I can only say, that if you want to see a startling tranformation nest week– VOTE FROGO VOTE FROGO VOTE FROGO!!!!!!!!
-- ‘We have seen our next contestant grow from a timid little weed to a giant tall poppy. That’s what this competition is about!
Please put your hands together for the ROFL (right old filthy lady) - the fabulous Frogo!!!!!’<br>
Audience screams uncontrollably. ‘GO THE FROGO!! GO THE FROGO!’<br>It soon becomes obvious that many people have brought zimmer frames with them, showing their support for frogo.( pardon the pun). ;D ;D ;D
Some have raised their zimmers in the air!
(IMPORTANT BACKGROUND INFORMATION - at this point we must tell you that after her last performance the lovely and supportive fellow contestants (no rivalries here – "we all adore each other"!) became concerned about Frogo’s ability to stand - even with the zimmer.
They constructed a harness she could wear during her 2nd performance. It is like a pair of reins with a long bungee lead that the audience can’t see. PBS has been declared CHIEF HARNESS HOLDER and has been charged with the task of keeping her upright should anything go wrong).
Meanwhile ----
Frogo appears in the distant centre stage. Her zimmer is covered from top to bottom with moving fairy lights (eat your heart out PSB).
Oh no! wait – what’s this? I don’t believe it – No, it can’t be ----She is wearing a pink tutu, her favourite blue cardy (to hide the harness) and - OMG --hot pink roller blades. (Let’s not mention the leg warmers over her knees – p leeeze)! - AND HER HAIR hair ? - Oh No! ---I still don’t believe it – ho! Ho! – it looks as if she forgot to take her curlers out!
The music starts – da da da -----
Frogo glides towards the michropohone wobbling on her weak ankles. She and the Zimmer go straight past it but miraculously PSB has noticed what’s happening and pulls her to an abrupt halt.
The music slows and stops!!!
She almost falls then sways back and forth for a short time like a ten-pin pin, before settling.
The music starts again but as the wonderful John Foreman raises his baton Frogo ducks suddenly thinking she is going to be hit.
The action is too sharp for her elderly body and she is unable to get herself upright again. (PSB had just spotted someone wearing something he likes and dropped the reins. oh he is sooo useless sometimes)! Frogo is left to give her performance bent double. (de ja vu she thinks).
She begins to sing, despite the discomfort, (should earn a few brownie points for that)!
The pure sweet voice we have all grown to love fills the hall.
(Please note – the words to this song have not been changed to protect how amusing they already are).
FROGO - (singing) “If I said you had a beautiful body
would you hold it against me?
If I swore you were an angel,
Would you treat me like the devil tonight”
Audience screams – zimmers rattle
“If I were dying of thirst
Would your flowing love come quench me
If I said you had a beautiful body
Would you hold it against me”
More screaming and rattling zimmers
ORCHESTRA da da ddd dee da
Frogo remains in her bent over position – revealing a small bald patch on the top of her head. This endears her to the viewers even more than before.
Meanwhile ..
PBS suddenly realises what has happened and yanks her into an upritght position!
FROGO CAN’T HELP HERSELF – SHE BREAKS WIND! (wouldn’t anyone???)
Dicko mutters - OMG – what am I doing here??
Frogo continues as if nothing has happened –
“Now we can talk all night about the weather
Tell you 'bout my friends out on the coast
I could ask alot of crazy questions
Or I could ask what I really want to know”
“ Now rain can fall so soft against the window
The sun can shine so bright up in the sky
But daddy always told me, "Don't make small talk"
He said, "Come on out and said what's on your mind”<br>
CHORUS ……..
At this point THE ZIMMER AND FROGO slowly start to glide away from the microphone out of control. (PSB has fallen asleep he is soooo bored. The vocal gets fainter and fainter as they glide away from the microphone. Oh no!!! - this could be disastrous - ooops - the zimmer has sped up leaving frogo standing on her own!! – she doesn’t fall!!!!!!! She takes a tentative step ------- and then another ---- The zimmer by this time has fallen over the edge of the stage where avid fans pounce on it.
THE PLACE IS IN A FRENZY ----- FROGO IS WALKING UNAIDED AND HAS GIVEN THE PERFORMANCE OF HER LIFE!!
Finally the judges are able to speak.
MARK ‘ TOUCHDOWN’!!!
MARCIA - ‘ I’ve never seen you afraid before, Frogo, but you recovered well. Well done!’<br>
DICKO - ‘ Frogo, do you think I pick on you?
FROGO - ‘ No not at all …..’<br>
DICKO - ‘Well, I’m going to tonight! You have made a dodgy song choice and you look like Crap’!!!!!!
AUDIENCE BOO’S --- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO –
FROGO – ‘Oh – did you want me to do something like Wham???’<br>
AUDIENCE DROWNS THEM OUT WITH BOOOOOING and the voting numbers come up on the screen. Frogo looks tense.
What will happen? Will she return? Now that she seems to be able to walk unaided, what will she do next!!
I can only say, that if you want to see a startling tranformation nest week– VOTE FROGO VOTE FROGO VOTE FROGO!!!!!!!!