Post by Pinkline Jones on Oct 6, 2003 0:24:45 GMT 10
Tonight’s theme was Aussie hits – and it was curious that Renee Geyer and Cold Chisel were the only pre 90s artists to get a run. But that’s food for another thread. The standard tonight was pretty average for the most part with the exception yet again of the simply outstanding Paulini. Millsy’s limitations shone through like a one-legged alcoholic high jumper – while Levi came crashing back to Planet Reality.
Here’s how it went:
KELLY
The “Rock Chick” (who the stupid young girls don’t like) opened proceedings with another cool and confident version of the Killing Holden…err I mean Killing Heidi song “Mascara” - the equal second best performance of the night which should be enough to see her through but given the non-shortage of morons who are voting she could well make her exit. Whilst she really didn't do anything too wrong - by the same token Kelly didn’t really do anything great with the song. Dicko’s comment was along the same line – she should have tried something different. If you are going to stick to one genre then you’d better make sure you really make a great impression every time and tonight Kelly didn’t really do anything outstanding. Solid performance all the same. 6/10
SHANNON
Condoblin’s finest export since the Cabramatta botulism scare – was up next with Mouldy Finger’s “Forever Young” which sold two copies in the mid 90s – one to the group’s deaf grandmother and the other one which they bought for their mate as a 21st birthday joke. However – Shannon tonight was a more confident singer than the previous week and really his song choice suited him better than that narcissistic whingefest otherwise known as “What About Me” which he karaokeingly indulged in last week. Tonight Shannon was the equal second best performer alongside Kelly. Surprisingly Dicko thought Shannon’s song THIS WEEK was “karaoke” while Holds agreed. Marcia meanwhile sat back smoking her wheatgrass juice and reckoned that Shannno was just fine. 6/10
REBEKAH
I understand that Rebekah loves her boys – how often have we been told about them for god's sake! Well thankfully Aussie Idol editor was on the ball and the viewers weren’t subject to any more of that happy single life irrelevancy. Full marks to Rebekah for her taste in music – not many people would have even heard of Renee Geyer and Rebekah gave “Heading in the Right Direction” her best shot. Whilst it was certainly better than her previous effort – Rebekah just fails to fulfill the promis with which she starts – her tone is quite nice but then there are the shortcomings – some weird kind of disinterest once she gets into the song and some parts are plain vocally weak. Definitely better than last week but the Exit door beckons. 5/10.
LEVI
The hip hop gangsta rapping r and b man of cool – Levi – pretty good last week but his American-influenced world came crashing down on him like the space shuttle with a bad song choice – Savage Garden’s “To Dubbo and Back” coupled with a dreadful vocal effort. There were all the usual Levi things on display – the annoying tongue flicking and the pointing finger routine but by the quarter way mark we were listening to Condoblin RSL Karaoke nothing more. A try hard and sleep-inducing waste – easily the second worst performance of the night. Maybe capable of better and he’ll have to show it next week or Mr Swimming Cap Head is out of the race. Dicko agreed that it was a bad song choice whilst Marcia instead tried to promote her daughter’s band “The Rockmelons”. 3.5/10
PAULINI
I had already penned in 10/10 for this girl – she hasn’t let anyone down yet – Paulini just keeps producing fantastic vocals. I was hoping she might do a Marcia song which would have suited her voice splendidly but she opted for Teeny Arena’s “Chains” but it didn’t matter - another sensational performance – maybe a little better last week but she is so vocally exciting - glided into the song and seized complete control of it. So Easy Campese. Total quality. - 9/10.
MILLSY
I couldn’t remember the name of this mess – something like “Take me Back” or “We want Our money back” – but whatever way you look at it – Millsy came a cropper tonight with a sickening and weak - colostomy bag of expired tomato and carrots. This was SHIITE lit up with a neon sign – a screeching, annoying f* up. The worst performance of the evening. Dicko and Holds both agreed it was bad while Marcia advised him to sing to the girls next time. Well I’d go further than that – how about sing in the shower with ear muffs for all. Crap! 2.5/10
COSIMA
Nice song choice - Cold Cheezel’s “When the War is Over” – Cosima started out a little softly then progressively pumped up the volume in a forced and over dramatic way. Sounded strained and sounded like the performance of someone who thinks she might be putting herself in an advantageous position by outscreaming the opposition. A little subtlety would have worked better – no need to baseball bat the audience’s ear drums. Still just good enough for third best effort of the night though. The judges who had all sipped some of Marcia’s organic grain-fed liquified yak’s nail clippings thought she was sun-sational. 5.5/10
GUY STRANGLER
Oh dear oh dear!! Talk about bad song choices – you couldn’t do much better than opt for Johnny Fartnham’s appalling “You’re the Voice” - one of the most vile, bowel-filling concoctions ever released on the market – not one of Guy’s better ideas I'm unafraid to say. This week I’ve gotta say that Guy Strangler’s cat choking vocals weren’t on display so much -so I was waiting in anticipation for something better – unfortunately this didn’t happen – a totally unremarkable piece of pseudo inspiring lyrical drivel. Guy’s voice promises more and maybe we’ll see a better performance next show. No danger in being voted out yet though. The judges – by this time - on their seventeenth schooner of reconstituted bacardi and silkworm gizzards gave him a nother dilated pupil seal of approval. 5/10
So on tonight’s performances – Millsy and Levi to go but I wouldn’t be surprised it it ends up Kelly and Millsy or even Cosima.
...I'M PINKLINE JONES
Here’s how it went:
KELLY
The “Rock Chick” (who the stupid young girls don’t like) opened proceedings with another cool and confident version of the Killing Holden…err I mean Killing Heidi song “Mascara” - the equal second best performance of the night which should be enough to see her through but given the non-shortage of morons who are voting she could well make her exit. Whilst she really didn't do anything too wrong - by the same token Kelly didn’t really do anything great with the song. Dicko’s comment was along the same line – she should have tried something different. If you are going to stick to one genre then you’d better make sure you really make a great impression every time and tonight Kelly didn’t really do anything outstanding. Solid performance all the same. 6/10
SHANNON
Condoblin’s finest export since the Cabramatta botulism scare – was up next with Mouldy Finger’s “Forever Young” which sold two copies in the mid 90s – one to the group’s deaf grandmother and the other one which they bought for their mate as a 21st birthday joke. However – Shannon tonight was a more confident singer than the previous week and really his song choice suited him better than that narcissistic whingefest otherwise known as “What About Me” which he karaokeingly indulged in last week. Tonight Shannon was the equal second best performer alongside Kelly. Surprisingly Dicko thought Shannon’s song THIS WEEK was “karaoke” while Holds agreed. Marcia meanwhile sat back smoking her wheatgrass juice and reckoned that Shannno was just fine. 6/10
REBEKAH
I understand that Rebekah loves her boys – how often have we been told about them for god's sake! Well thankfully Aussie Idol editor was on the ball and the viewers weren’t subject to any more of that happy single life irrelevancy. Full marks to Rebekah for her taste in music – not many people would have even heard of Renee Geyer and Rebekah gave “Heading in the Right Direction” her best shot. Whilst it was certainly better than her previous effort – Rebekah just fails to fulfill the promis with which she starts – her tone is quite nice but then there are the shortcomings – some weird kind of disinterest once she gets into the song and some parts are plain vocally weak. Definitely better than last week but the Exit door beckons. 5/10.
LEVI
The hip hop gangsta rapping r and b man of cool – Levi – pretty good last week but his American-influenced world came crashing down on him like the space shuttle with a bad song choice – Savage Garden’s “To Dubbo and Back” coupled with a dreadful vocal effort. There were all the usual Levi things on display – the annoying tongue flicking and the pointing finger routine but by the quarter way mark we were listening to Condoblin RSL Karaoke nothing more. A try hard and sleep-inducing waste – easily the second worst performance of the night. Maybe capable of better and he’ll have to show it next week or Mr Swimming Cap Head is out of the race. Dicko agreed that it was a bad song choice whilst Marcia instead tried to promote her daughter’s band “The Rockmelons”. 3.5/10
PAULINI
I had already penned in 10/10 for this girl – she hasn’t let anyone down yet – Paulini just keeps producing fantastic vocals. I was hoping she might do a Marcia song which would have suited her voice splendidly but she opted for Teeny Arena’s “Chains” but it didn’t matter - another sensational performance – maybe a little better last week but she is so vocally exciting - glided into the song and seized complete control of it. So Easy Campese. Total quality. - 9/10.
MILLSY
I couldn’t remember the name of this mess – something like “Take me Back” or “We want Our money back” – but whatever way you look at it – Millsy came a cropper tonight with a sickening and weak - colostomy bag of expired tomato and carrots. This was SHIITE lit up with a neon sign – a screeching, annoying f* up. The worst performance of the evening. Dicko and Holds both agreed it was bad while Marcia advised him to sing to the girls next time. Well I’d go further than that – how about sing in the shower with ear muffs for all. Crap! 2.5/10
COSIMA
Nice song choice - Cold Cheezel’s “When the War is Over” – Cosima started out a little softly then progressively pumped up the volume in a forced and over dramatic way. Sounded strained and sounded like the performance of someone who thinks she might be putting herself in an advantageous position by outscreaming the opposition. A little subtlety would have worked better – no need to baseball bat the audience’s ear drums. Still just good enough for third best effort of the night though. The judges who had all sipped some of Marcia’s organic grain-fed liquified yak’s nail clippings thought she was sun-sational. 5.5/10
GUY STRANGLER
Oh dear oh dear!! Talk about bad song choices – you couldn’t do much better than opt for Johnny Fartnham’s appalling “You’re the Voice” - one of the most vile, bowel-filling concoctions ever released on the market – not one of Guy’s better ideas I'm unafraid to say. This week I’ve gotta say that Guy Strangler’s cat choking vocals weren’t on display so much -so I was waiting in anticipation for something better – unfortunately this didn’t happen – a totally unremarkable piece of pseudo inspiring lyrical drivel. Guy’s voice promises more and maybe we’ll see a better performance next show. No danger in being voted out yet though. The judges – by this time - on their seventeenth schooner of reconstituted bacardi and silkworm gizzards gave him a nother dilated pupil seal of approval. 5/10
So on tonight’s performances – Millsy and Levi to go but I wouldn’t be surprised it it ends up Kelly and Millsy or even Cosima.
...I'M PINKLINE JONES
